Above Time
by RedShoeParade
Summary: 'Only he can make me feel human again'. When Paradox leaves to another time, Aporia tries to tell him how he feels. One last human feeling before they part.


_Above Time_

Aporia's POV

"You are ready to leave again?" I ask trying to hide the pain in my voice.  
He nodded "this is the last time" he informs "if my experiment is correct" he adds and I swallow the bile in my throat.  
"If" I stutter "and what if it's not correct?" my question touches a sensitive issue and I glanced away avoiding his gaze.  
I knew that if I stared into his eyes I will find it impossible to hold myself upright. He is ready to leave and I won't let him. I will plead with him even begged him to stay here, stay home, stay with me.  
He will be confused from this sudden reaction and then I will have to explain everything; all of my secrets which I keep hidden for a long, long time will come back to surface. Even if I won't talk, even if I refused to say anything and shield my lips he is clever and capable enough to realize everything.  
Only he can read me like an open book. Only he can wake my soft side of my old character. Only he can make me feel human again. Not Z-One or Antinomy, only him.  
That's why I fell for him long ago. When I first met him I was ready to give up any hope. I was lost, alone with no one left to love or love me when I saw them;  
They were only half humans, and I was old, very old. I knew my time was gone and I had given up any hope for love.  
Until Z-One approached and held me his hand. He offered me his help if I was give him mine. I was desperate back then so I was ready to accept anything just to feel loved again. Just to feel I'm not alone anymore.  
I took his hand, I became his friend and I changed myself just like they had changed to be able to live longer. Just a little bit longer, to change the impossible.  
But the impossible had already happened; I was desperate to find someone to love and I found one. I love him but I never have the guts to tell him this, I'll never confess my love. And why is that? Because I'm a coward and a fool.  
Our time coming to the end and I have nothing to lose. Why do I flinch at the thought to tell him three simple words?  
I felt his gaze on me and my heart is beating like crazy now. He is ready to live again and I don't know if this time I will handle it.  
I have a bad feeling about this trip. I don't know why but I have. He is in dangerous; he won't manage to return home again. I'm sure about it. I never had been more certain in my life. This is the last time I'm seeing him and still I can't spill the right words. I'm pathetic!  
He said this is his last trip so there are only two options ahead of us.  
His experiment works. If this happens then all the history will change and I find myself in another time. My life will be different and even I want to erase this awful turn of my life and all the sorrow and pain I was in, I will erase him too from my life. And I don't want that, because I won't see him again.  
His experiment fails. If this happens then he will die in the time of a year; away from home, away from me. And I don't want that either, because I won't see him again.  
No, I can't keep thinking about it. I have to grasp hold of any hope that I will see him again. I still have business with him; I have to tell him how I feel at least. He must know. He can't leave without knowing.  
"It is correct" he declares "it has to be otherwise…" he pauses and bites his lip.  
"I'm not sure, with don't you asked Z-One for more time before you go" I suggest full of hope.  
"I already did" he informs me "he said there is no time. I'm leaving today"  
I bit my lips. So I have no choice then. I must do it; I will force myself to confess. It's the last time I'm seeing him. I feel tears in my eyes. Is this possible? I cannot cry; I'm not human anymore, or I am? He is making me human again.  
I turned my head to look into his eyes preparing myself but what I see catches me off guard. He is already crying! Not exactly crying, there is a single tear drop that rolls down his cheek.  
"Paradox" I gasp absolutely astonish "what's wrong?"  
"It's nothing" he wipes it with his hand "just a little bit of emotion"  
"Why?" why now?  
Apparently he reads my thoughts "because it's the last time I'm seeing your face Aporia" he hesitates and I blink in surprise "I know I'm not going to see you again"  
"You do?" I swallow.  
He nods "I have no choice, Z-One trusted me this mission, I can't fail him. But I the pain it's too much anymore. I can't leave before I tell you something"  
"I want to tell you something too"  
"I know" his voice is calm and I see a slight smile "I always knew but I had orders"  
"What are you saying?"  
"I'm saying I return your feelings" and with this he puts one hand behind my head and presses it forward to meet my lips with his.  
I almost faint under his hard lips but no, I won't. Instead of this I remove his clothes and he helped me removed his. Finally I was free, my dream came true. I found someone to love and love me back. I was ready for our last time together and I knew what I was wanted as I knew what he was wanted too.  
I kissed him back with passion feeling my body turning on fire under his touch. I didn't mind, I was his and he was mine. I will be his and he will be mine. I will make him mine after he makes me his.  
And he does. He makes me his. I feel him inside me as I as l am lying on the cold floor but I don't care. He is moving up and down making me crazy until he shouts my name and I beg him to fill me with his warmth. He gives what I want asks for me to do the same.  
And I do. I make him mine. I feel him around me and this time I forget everything; our missions, his trip, our nonexistent future. I forgot even Z-One and Antinomy. It is only me and the man I love. Until I shout his name and he begs me to sign him with my own mark.  
We both lay on the cold floor embracing each other.  
"I must leave" he says and stands up putting his clothes back one "but I will see you again" he states.  
"When?" I know he has to and I bite my lip.  
"In this life or into another one, I will see you again" and he leaves.  
And I am alone, but I am not suffering any more. I know he love me and he knows I love him back. Our love is above time.

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This is for Shippings That Nobody Likes. Help from melan anime. Idea from melan anime. Most of the writing from melan anime. She rocks!


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